Yuffie's Day with a Laptop
by Katie and Caroline
Summary: Yuffie discovers just how wonderful it is to control people and their thoughts with writing. It's almost Magical.


Yuffie awoke to a beautiful morning that day. The sun was shining, birds were chirping, ah, yes, it was a wonderful day. The kind of day that makes you want to skip and tiptoe through the tulips. Vincent wouldn't know, his room had no windows, and it was soundproof. He didn't particularly like birds. You wouldn't either if you had a beast that goes by the name Chaos either, especially since Chaos thought raw birds were a nice delicacy.   
  
But all was not well, as it never is. For Yuffie drank soda for breakfast, and it wasn't Diet. She felt quite vengeful that day, having discovered she could manipulate people and their minds by writing. Be afraid. Be VERY afraid.  
  
So after kissing Vincent when he finally woke up, serving him breakfast without blowing up the kitchen, and explaining to Vincent exactly why she was pouncing on sunflower seeds strewn all over the sparkly clean kitchen floor,   
"The thrill of the hunt!  
The suspense!  
The surprise!  
I love tracking, stalking, attacking, and devouring sunflower seeds. They never expect it!"Yuffie pulled out a laptop and began to type. The only problem was she didn't know exactly whose lives to make miserable.  
  
But, sadly, she came up with two people who she would just love to manipulate, the tree girl and the freaky one who kept on hugging Sephiroth. (If you don't know what I'm talking about, read the Elvis Sighting fic) And Yuffie, the hyperactive now 19 year old, began to spin webs of intriuge, of deceit, of. . .   
  
summer allergies.   
  
Caroline sat up, sneezed twice, blew her nose and lay down again, throwing the tissue in the overflowing bucket. Damn the pollen and Yuffie, who thought her Claritan (allergy medicine) bottle looked like a tree, damn the doctors and medicine making people for taking two weeks to mail it to her. A disadvantage of living in a crater– a knock sounded on her back door – and DAMN whoever was knocking at her front door.  
Caroline sniffed and crawled miserably off the couch and muted the TV. It was mid-June and she had really bad allergies. Her whole house was littered with used tissues – she had gone through 2,642 boxes of tissues in a week. That put a real setback in her budget management. Sniffing she made her way down the hall to the front door. The knocking started again.  
"I'm coming, I'm coming," she muttered, before peeping through the dinky looking-hole thingy on her door. "Katie?"  
"Doomed one, let me in!"  
"Not by the hair on my chinny chin chin!  
"Please?"  
"No. I'm sick…your ugly…go fly away on your kangaroo."  
"If you don't open the door, I'll blast it open."  
"With what, you spoony bard?"  
"With my jelly bean power!"  
Muttering to herself about annoying friends and Wutainese ninjas and their vampire boyfriends who defend them once you start glaring at the girlfriend really hard, Caroline opened the door.  
"Caroline! You look…"  
"Horrible, unhappy?" Caroline moved out of the way to let her friend in, "What do you think genius? I'm sick. Allergies. My nose is so stuffed up and red, it can rival Rudolph's in the 'reddest and shiniest nose of the year competition. Maybe Santa will ask me to lead his sleigh tonight."  
"Got any food? Yuffie, um, kind of ruined my house. Vincent tried to stop her, but you know how she gets around trees, and I suppose it's my fault I chose to live in one. . ." Katie trailed off. . . "But I miss my can of SPACKLE." Katie sniffs and continues on with her sad, sad story, but it was interrupted as Caroline made a sudden grab for one of the tissue boxes, ripped it open, pulled a tissue out and preceded to blow her nose.  
"Sorry, stupid cold…but thanks for coming over, is there something I can get you…green tea?"  
"Who drinks green tea?"  
"Sephiroth does."  
"And how do you know that?"  
"I watched him make it through my telescope."  
"Caroline, that so sad in so many ways I can't even begin to list them."  
"I like green tea."   
"Alrighty then. . ."  
"I'll go make it. . ." Caroline sniffs and pulls out a picture of Sepheroth and smiles happily.   
"No. You're sick. Sit down. I'll make our cra, er, green tea."  
"You sure? Don't blow up my kitchen again, when you made that fruit salad. . . Ooooh that made me angry."  
"Sit down."  
Caroline sat.  
"Now where is the tea?"  
"Upper cupboards, third from the left," Caroline began, before she was interrupted by another sneeze.  
Katie poked her head around the door, "Have you seen the doctor?"  
"Well no duh. And for your information it's a viral infection so I can't do anything about it."  
"Hey, you must be taking some kind of medicine. Lets see…" Searching around in the cupboards, she came upon a rather large bottle of cold and flu syrup tucked away in one of the shelves, "Ah-ha, here we go, and as far as I can see, it was bought yesterday, but you haven't been taking any. Why?"  
"The doctors made me buy it. They just don't understand that I don't take medicine when I don't need it. Plus, the only medicine that helps is-"  
  
*Vincent: What are you doing Yuffie?*  
*Yuffie: I'm messing with the author's minds*  
*Vincent: o.O*  
*Yuffie: . . .and Sephiroth's*   
*Vincent: So, you're writing a story to make people's lives miserable. . .? This does not bode well. . .*  
"-Claritin."  
"Really? Well, there's always a first time for different medicine."  
"What?"  
Laughing, Katie came out of the kitchen, a cup of water in one hand, and a measured amount of the medicine in the other. She set them down on the coffee table in front of Caroline, "Now be a good girl and open up."  
"Katie…"  
"What? We don't want to be a good little girl for Katie here?"  
*Cid, doing a mysterious popping from nowhere thing: What's the brat doing?*  
*Vincent: writing a story. . .*  
*Cid:. . . with that creepy tree girl, whose friends with that girl who wouldn't stop hugging Sephiroth. . .?*  
  
*Vincent: I'm scared. And I think you should be too.*  
Caroline raised an eyebrow, "And I thought I was sick. Exactly what kind of drugs are you on Katie?"  
"Uh-uh, I'm not answering your question until you take your medicine like a good little girl."  
Sighing, Caroline gulped down the medicine and water and glared at Katie, who is ONLY two years older than her,   
"Happy?"  
"Very."  
Caroline paused and winced. "Katie, what exactly WAS on the label whatever you just made me take? It tastes awfully like vinegar. . ."  
*Vincent: YUFFIE! That's mean!*  
*Yuffie: *grins like only a Wutainese ninja can*  
"It was cough medicine," Katie stopped, "Um… Caroline, you do keep your cold water in that clear wine bottle thingy…don't you?"  
*Cid: But I thought Caroline was sick with allergies. . .?*  
*Yuffie glares at him, really hard. Then gives him a big hug, and Cid's eye's ball out*  
*Cid: Get offa me you @#%$!*  
*Yuffie grins evilly again*  
"No…" Caroline hesitated again, then narrowed her eyes, and gave Katie her world famous glare, which was slightly more intimidating than Yuffie's, "Are you saying that you just made me chug down a whole cup of white vinegar?"  
Katie gave her an innocent look, "Well…I…hehehe…"  
"KATIE!!!! YOU SPOONY, SPOONY BARD!!!"  
*Yuffie laughs insanely*  
*Vincent: Exactly, what did you have for breakfast this morning, Yuffie. . .?*  
Caroline lunges at Katie and pinches her really hard, when she hears a knocking at her door. The girl blows her nose and opens the door, and peers in the looking hole. Her eyes widened, for it was Sephiroth. So she ran, covered up the telescope that faced his house and peered in his kitchen, then opened the door, "Hi Sephers!" and Caroline grinned happily at him for the first time that day.   
  
"Caroline, I allowed you to move here, in my Northern Crater, in hopes that you would LEAVE ME ALONE. I want you to keep your tissues in your house! I don't want tissues all over my front door! Tissues are everywhere! AND IT'S DRIVING ME INSANE!!!!!!!!" Sephiroth shouted, and Caroline. . .  
  
*Cid: Yuffie, that's so pure evil. . .*  
-still smiled. "Okie dokie Sephers! Bye!" Caroline hugged him ,to his disgust, and shut the door.  
  
"How come your still smiling? Caroline? Did you hear what he said?" Katie asked, surprised that Sephiroth, even if Caroline idolized him, left unhurt or with his head still attached to his neck.  
  
"No, in one ear and o," Caroline went into a sneezing fit mid-sentence , "in one ear and out the other."   
  
Katie sighed deeply.  
  
*Yuffie: See? I'm not that evil. . .  
  
  
. . .yet.*  
  
*Vincent: Yuffie, I'm not going to marry you if you are going to be cruel. . .*  
  
-END   
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Katie: you mean Yuffie was manipulating us?  
Caroline, still smiling: Yes.  
  
SEE THAT BUTTON, THAT SAYS REVIEW? USE IT! THE COWS WILL IT! 


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